ABORTION: NOT JUST A POLITICAL ISSUE…

…IT IS A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE AS WELL.

As you already know, Abortion has been a heated political topic for a very long time, but between when Roe vs. Wade was signed into law in 1973 legalizing abortion today, the last five years have arguably been the most “active” for the topic of the legality of abortion. With the rise in voices of the Christian Right (who took on abortion as their leading cause when they could no longer hang their political hats on racism and school segregation), the country is once again revisiting the rights of individuals to make choices about their bodies. There is obviously a lot there - a lot of feelings and thoughts about people’s rights and our own rights. We stand firmly with the pro-choice movement - that it is every person’s choice to make a decision about their OWN bodies and families. But that is not what this blog post is about. This is about the people who have had abortions. 

About 25% of people with uteruses have abortions before the age of 45. Rachel Jones, a principal research scientist at Guttmacher says “Bans and restrictions are designed to stigmatize abortion, but our study shows one in four women is expected to have an abortion in their lifetime. That means that almost everyone, including abortion opponents, knows someone who has had an abortion.” (Guttmacher, 2024)

So you likely know at least one person and likely many who have had abortions. And the abortion bans do just that - they stigmatize abortion. And many people who have abortions do not share their experiences with others due to the shame and stigma associated with such decisions, or because they feel expressing their emotional experience will hinder the pro-choice movement. So instead of sharing, they hold in their feelings, their thoughts, their experiences. They may share their experience with no one, they may share it with only people they’re close with or they may share it widely (this is less common in our culture). 

The experience of having an abortion can be challenging and it can also not be. You can think or feel that you made the right decision or not. And you can have any range of feelings about an abortion before, during and after the fact, ranging from relief to grief, from shame to empowerment, sadness to happiness, and any other emotion. In fact, when you have an abortion, your hormones mimic what they would if you had given birth - you go through postpartum following an abortion in the same way. So the emotions can be really heightened throughout that time. 

A really common experience is knowing/thinking/feeling that you may know you made the decision but still having grief and possibly even shame about it. You may not even feel it’s okay to grieve because you made the decision. And that specific experience may not resonate - yours may be completely different because they are all unique. But in our society - what do we do with these experiences and feelings? We often hide them and it harms us and also keeps us from connecting with others who have a shared experience.

As Brene Brown has famously taught us, it is keeping our shame stories hidden that really harms us, and sharing our stories and our feelings vulnerably is what allows us to heal and connect again. 

In this vein, we (Devin & Kaeleigh) are hosting a Post-Abortion Support Group on May 7th from 7:00-9:00PM in Portland, Maine. This group is for ANYONE who has had an abortion (whether 2 months ago or 20 years ago) that might want to connect with others who have also experienced an abortion.

If you are interested in joining the group, you can learn more and start the registration process here. All form submissions are kept completely confidential and only viewable to Devin and Kaeleigh and steps are being taken to ensure the safety of the group. 

If you don’t feel comfortable joining the group but would like some support around your experience, you can contact Devin or Kaeleigh directly. If you are unable to attend this meeting but are interested in future groups, there is a spot on the form for you to stay in touch. 

We hope you’ll join us if this resonates with you at all. 

Devin & Kaeleigh

About the Authors/Facilitators

Rev. Devin Green is a Modern Interspiritual/Interfaith Minister (think “Spiritual but not Religious”) and Intuitive Counselor. She is passionate about supporting people as they move through the ups and downs of life. She is especially drawn to honoring the experiences that we often sweep under the rug or skip over, especially abortions, miscarriages and divorces. 

Devin has been visioning this group for many years. She wants you to feel seen, heard, and honored in your experience - to be able to process any and all emotions, thoughts, questions and beliefs you have. 

Regardless of your upbringing and spiritual or religious beliefs and background, we live in a christian-dominant society and the impact of christian beliefs around abortion may have impacts on you. Devin cares about how outside and inside influences have impacted you, and she finds introducing other spiritual beliefs and understandings into our perspective very helpful. She is also available to provide direct support to individuals and families to process and honor their experience through talking and rituals. You can learn more and connect with her at The Connected Way™.

Kaleigh Terrill is a full-spectrum doula, herbalist, and body literacy educator. She came to this work alongside the deep understanding that all aspects of generative health education & experience in this country are rooted in systemic oppression and are actively disempowering & disembodying. She believes that by cultivating a practice of embodied understanding of the bodies we live in, we can feel more empowered in our paths towards self-healing and knowing; that self care is a radical act of resistance. Her goal is for everyone to feel safe, joyful, held & heard as we process pregnancy release and connect to our centers.

Kaeleigh works from a place of increased body literacy- to understand and support the body’s natural inclination towards homeostasis and safety. She believes our bodies have innate wisdom to care for and heal us and is interested in supporting the process of deep care through sharing in safe community. Kaeleigh works with folks who are seeking and have experienced pregnancy release from a logistical and emotional stance by providing lots of information, herbal support, and a gentle nudge to incorporate ritual as a means to further embodiment. 

You can learn more about her work and connect here.